There’s this part of me that wonders at why I am less inclined to hang onto Jesus in the best of it.
I can literally see a flip of dependence switch when I don’t feel quite like I’m drowning anymore. It’s as if I let go just a little bit of my grasp depending on HIm. And I wonder at why I don’t seem so inclined to be as aggressively attached to Jesus when I’m in a good place. It’s almost as if I’ve become dispositioned to look at good things as a replacement instead of an additive.
It’s funny because the sweetest times I can recall with the Lord have been the most desperate, draining, and anxious seasons. Grace runs low, yes, but it doesn’t stop or suddenly become unnecessary when we are “doing well,” or whatever we would like to call it. Where those seasons of absolute desperation for Jesus have been some of the sweetest, some of the most regrettable and set-back points have been when I thought I was doing really well because there was no pursuit of the Only One Who actually is Goodness Himself.
So in those moments, where we see a shift in our willingness to dive further into the ever-pursuing Heart of God, we need a reminder, an altar of some kind that consistently draws us into the reality of our dependency. Even the greatest good in our world is not God–all good things are pointing to Goodness Himself, not the other way around. Where we find the best times, we must press into prayer, and where we find the worst times, we must press into prayer. “Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.” (Romans 12:12)
Be wildly rooted in Joy–for where Joy is, there Heaven abides as well. “Joy is the serious business of Heaven.” (C.S. Lewis) When we abide in Joy instead of abiding in particular feelings, we maintain firmly founded in the Presence instead of just waving wildly around as feelings come and go.
He really is everything we need, and when we try to supplement something else for that, we will inevitably be left wanting and disappointed.
“Lord, show us the Father and that will be enough for us.” (John 14:8)