Insignificant Memories & Big Regrets

I think it’s so funny the things that I’m randomly reminded of. It’s curious how the littlest, most insignificant events come back to bring shame. Because it’s never anything that would be a big deal to anyone else. There’s this part of us that gets so obsessed with the smallest slipups–moments in our lives that should be inconsequential become all consuming.

Why do you think so many people make jokes about remembering that one embarrassing moment from eighth grade? There’s something deeper going on when we experience social failure on any level because of how intrinsically our society, and consequentially ourselves, has equated perfection to worthiness.

We give so little grace to ourselves, even in situations that matter the least. I remember so vividly all the littlest moments I feel like I failed, and, as a person, I have had a lot of those moments. Perfection is unattainable for the common person, and since we are all common people, imperfection is our reality. It’s inescapable because we cannot control every part of ourselves.

There is so much pressure to be perfect that even those memories from years ago come back to try convincing us that we aren’t good enough. Sometimes I cannot even believe how susceptible we are to the lies of the Enemy about our worthiness. I am reminded of the fact that the kingdom of Hell is well-versed in waging war on every part of us–on things we never thought we could be attacked by. But here we are, here I am, thinking about 5 minute moments from 4 years ago and feeling like I’m not enough.

But oh my gosh we are. Our most and least embarrassing, shameful moments don’t inform our value–ONLY GOD CAN DO THAT. Only God, only God, only God. And yet, we still sit around wondering what we can do to smooth over our shameful moments and get back to being the perfect version of ourselves. But oh, there is no perfect version of ourselves living in the world, is there? We are so much greater than the little things we fail at.

“Grace means that all of your mistakes now serve a purpose instead of serving shame.” (Brené Brown) And that includes our most insignificant embarrassing moments to our most public screwups. Because at the end of all the ridiculous, crazy, self-shaming pieces of ourselves, we are Enough, Enough, Enough.

So please, don’t dwell on all the things you’ve messed up on–you are not your mistakes, and you are not your shame–you are Loved, and you are Enough.

•••

With Love,

Hannah

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