Desire Doesn’t Always Mean Envy

A short reminder for your Friday sweet friends:

I was watching one of my favorite YouTubers the other night, and she said something I found very important; it was something along the lines of: You are allowed to feel a little sad or disappointed that the people around you have something you have desired for a long time and haven’t yet seen come into fruition.

And not in an envious or jealous way—but in an acknowledgment way. If everyone around you is getting married and you desire marriage, acknowledge that it’s hard. If your good friend gets your dream job—that will be difficult for you, and it’s okay to acknowledge that desire, that difficulty, and still celebrate the successes of the ones around you.

I think we’ve come up with this narrative that we’re not allowed to experience any kind of disappointment. We’re not allowed to wish we had certain things.

There is a difference between experiencing disappointment and simultaneously celebrating another person’s successes and being envious. Envy and desire are not the same thing.

We can be content and still have desires—and those desires can be Holy.

You are allowed to feel desire, you are allowed to have emotions that are frustrated, confused, and questioning—and you can still authentically celebrate those around you. There is a balance, and stuffing down your desires to celebrate others is much less authentic than being honest in your place of frustration and still giving attention and being joyous with those around you.

You are allowed to grieve opportunities that aren’t coming through—you are allowed to celebrate others all the same. We must, must, must grieve the things we have hoped for that haven’t come to pass because if we don’t, we will continue putting up fronts, we will continue to build inauthenticity, and we will very quickly become unable to experience any kind of joy for others because we will be too consumed with what we don’t or can’t have.

We are designed for balance and not for chaos—and suppression is chaos in a can, always threatening to burst, and usually quite quick to do so.

Rejoice with those who rejoice and mourn with those who mourn—yes, do this! It’s so good! But in this, don’t believe you must deny yourself acknowledgement of some of your own emotions and experiences.

•••

With Love,

Hannah

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