I’m utterly exhausted.
I don’t know how any of you have felt, as work, school, social responsibilities, and everything else beginning again—but not just beginning again like normal—beginning again with masks and distance, miscommunication, misinformation, and confusion.
And it’s exhausting.
Finally working in the position of a teacher, seeing firsthand how insane the education system is right now, worrying constantly for all the children being abused, the people starving, the unemployment rates; the concern for myself has added another level of overwhelming. Only 2 full weeks into the school year completed, and I’m already counting down to December 10th, waiting with baited breath for Christmas to finally roll around and for me to not have to wake up and go into one of the most confusing settings I’ve ever had the confusing experience of being a part of.
The tolerability of all the conglomerated stress is unbearable many days, more for the lack of solid foundation than anything else. Particularly, in the area of foundation, really Resting in Jesus is a critical step that is often missed. Because Resting isn’t just sitting and reading a chapter of your Bible, praying for 5 minutes a day and whatever else you feel must be checked off the list. Resting is much more intentional than checking off a to-do. That building of a foundation in the midst of chaos with Jesus—that is what will sustain us.
Life is difficult right now, for everyone—in different ways and to varying degrees, but nonetheless difficult. We are all struggling to find balance, to find some measure of Peace in the midst of the absolute whirlwind and tragedy that this year has been.
And these last two weeks have been a lot—maybe it’s been the last month for you, the last year, the last decade—I don’t know where you’re at, but I know where I’m at and I’m tired.
I think we’re all pretty tired because the widespread emotional trauma of these last few months has been utterly overwhelming.
And now we are here, trying to make it. Believing there must be something better ahead—and there is. There is a Greater Unfolding of the Kingdom ahead. There is a continued unfolding of the Promises of God (that NEVER fail) coming in even as we cannot see anything but the tragedy that doesn’t seem to stop.
“We must try to take life moment by moment. The actual present is usually pretty tolerable, I think, if only we refrain from adding to its burden that of the past and the future.” (C.S. Lewis)
Not to say the future is not something to look forward to, or that the past cannot be positively reminisced. Even sometimes looking back with rose-colored glasses can be overwhelming to our present situation.
But then sometimes I look back and remember the really Good—and I remember how things do get better, maybe not right away and maybe not for a while, but they do get better. We are always moving closer to the Father where we are intentional; He does not run from us. And He is Good itself.
I am tired, but He is Good.