Hello No Control

DSC_0244.jpgLet me start by saying trusting God is a lot harder than I thought it would be. I mean, I’ve always thought of myself as someone who had at least a moderately acceptable amount of faith.

Fun fact, though: that is not enough.

We are commanded to completely surrender everything to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than we could ask or imagine according to His power that is at work within us, not just a sliver of us or the parts that we think could use God to fix them up – our Whole. Entire. Selves.


All of it.

There is no option to just go halfway. Actually, Jesus says that lukewarm is the worst way to be – He’ll just spit that lukewarm water right out! We can either be hot or cold, but there is no middle ground or “safe” way we can take with God. It’s either Him or it’s not.

So, back to the whole idea of trust – we are either all in or all out, right? If that’s the case, I would highly recommend beginning the process of putting your whole trust in the Lord because if we don’t start the process of laying down ourselves before Him daily as a sacrifice, there will be some incredibly important growth that won’t happen, or we’ll delay some of the super awesome stuff He really wants to do in our lives right now!! I know I’ve delayed some of God’s work in my life because of lack of trust, but I don’t want to do that anymore – there is just too much grandeur in the promises He’s laid before me that to not trust would be so sad.

We don’t trust for one basic reason: fear.

You know who generates fear? The Father of Lies.

The opposite of love is not hate—it is fear.

“Whoever fears has not been perfected in love.” – 1 John 4:18 –

This is not to say that we will never fear or that we are perfect – neither of these things are realities that we can experience in fullness in this life, but as you grow closer and closer to the Lord, there will be this beautiful thing that happens: less and less fear will be present and you will walk in much more abandon to love God and love people well.

I’m pretty convinced that the Lord knows what He’s doing much better than I do – despite this, however, I still freak out on Him regularly – shout out to my Lord and Savior for His enduring patience and never-ending grace because I am for sure obnoxious when it comes to not getting my way on the reg. Anyway, like I said, there are still many times in which I question, doubt, yell at, and freak out on God. This tends to happen because I am a person with limited perspective trying to put all of my unknowns and limited perspective opinions and ideas into the hands of an all-knowing God who, despite how I sometimes feel or perceive things to be, actually does truly know what is best and is much more qualified to handle me than I am.


So, these trust issues – shocking as this may sound – are not rooted in God’s great design for us. In fact, we were made for community – to be vulnerable, share, and live with one another and God in perfect relationship. But the Father of Lies got into the game and decided that maybe God isn’t all He’s cracked up to be. I mean, can anyone like that really exist? Maybe I could just become like Him? Be my own god? And thus begins these issues of trust and idolatry as we perceive a certain false reality about God and people because we are afraid and much more puffed up with pride when we are “self-sufficient”.

Although, as my favorite author and theologian literally ever likes to say, “you may forget that you are at every moment totally dependent on God.”

It is an incredibly strange place to live – dependency is – when you have realized you have become so dependent, there are no other options. Trust looks reckless sometimes – you know what also looks reckless? Willingly being crucified on a cross for a bunch of people that are going to reject you anyway. That’s reckless. But the other side of that is the salvation for those who have decided that “Child of God” is a title we want for ourselves. And however reckless it may seem to put all of your eggs in the basket of a God you can’t physically see, how much more reckless was it for Him to die for many who wouldn’t take up His offer of salvation anyway.

The man literally died an excruciatingly painful death on the cross to save your soul from actual Hell. I think He proved Himself trustworthy with that.

I know it’s incredibly difficult, but it’s a wrestling match we have to walk through as believers – will we trust Him or not? – because if it’s the latter, we have a long road of a less-than life to walk down. Less than contentment, less than joy, less than peace… But man, if we trust Him, lay down our lives, learn His voice, follow His heart for us, there is an insane amount of abundance, joy, peace, love, hope, contentment and all the other beautiful things for which we were designed.

We worry so much about our lives, and what if, instead of freaking out all the time, we learned, little by little, to abide in Holy Spirit?

Little by little, we intentionally seek out God’s voice until it just becomes the nature of our existence to here Him.

Little by little, we begin to trust Him with more and more of our lives.

DSC_0245.jpgAnd at the end of the day, 2 Corinthians 5:1 says it best, “For we know that if this tent that is our earthly home is destroyed, we have a building from God, a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens.”

We worry so much about our physical bodies being harmed – and that does matter, yes – and sometimes, when you’re walking with Jesus, He asks you to be willing to lay down the very life of your earthly body. But when it comes to trusting God, as Esther would say, “If I die, I die.” He died for us – we owe Him a lot more than our lives for what He saved us from. It’s Upside Down Kingdom style, to be willing to die in order to live abundantly.

But you know what, there is incredible promise and abundance in this life, but it is waiting for us on the other side of our trust issues.


With Love,


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