You are worth waiting for, and you are worth being pursued.
Hold on now – read that again – you are worth. You are value. You are not a measure of worth or value – you are it. Your existence is unquestionably important, and did I mention you are insanely beautiful? You are defined by no one but a God madly in love with you.
There is absolutely nothing, nothing, that you are not worthy of because there is a cross and a King who is dancing and singing over you constantly.
You are not defined by anything other than this.
And, here is the most perfect part of our existence – God waits for us, every day. He waits. He waits until we come or don’t. He waits when we have strayed. In fact, He doesn’t just wait – He chases. He pursues us, throwing caution to the wind and laughing in the face of pain because His love for us is that overwhelming.
Identity has always been a struggle – by what, who, or how am I defined?
Often times, definition has ended up damaged and broken by people or professional decisions that have not affirmed me as valuable.
Often times, fear has gotten in the way of faith and confidence because defining myself by a relationship seems easier than journeying through the Life Poem God has written for and is singing over me (I’ve come to learn that finding pieces of this Life Poem is the most fun and fulfilling thing ever, you know, once I actually committed to diving in to hear it).
Often times, I’ve gone everywhere but to Who can fully define me without any risk of betrayal. In fact, the One I put last more than I would like to admit is the only One who is willing to stick through it when I am the betrayer time and time again.
Never has He once defined me as anything but beautiful and loved and treasured and perfectly His. Never has He once said He’d had enough, and He didn’t give up on me when I felt like I was ready to throw in the towel. Never has He once needed to do anything at all, with reason or otherwise, to pursue me relentlessly, but He does because that is Who He is.
I started writing this little piece thinking it would be about how you are worth being loved well by another person, but there’s something so much greater than romantic love from a man, and it is the unbreakably transcendent love of a Father. It is the reckless love of a Husband who has been, is, and always will be the perfect lover of His Bride. His Bride who He honors immensely more than her adulteress heart deserves because He chose before her existence to write her forgiveness with His own, perfect blood. A God who we ourselves are the cause of His mourning. Man of Sorrows was not a name given without experience.
Everyone seems obsessed with finding perfect love – romantic comedies and men who really understand the multifaceted nature to a woman’s emotions. We can only hope for all the apologies and closure and everything our hearts desire, for lack of a better phrase, in relationship.
And it breaks my heart that we look to such a 2D version of what perfect love is really like.
Because I have found this love, or more like, His Love has found me.
It by no means perfect but that is not His fault. I run and hide and disappear and idolize others and the list goes on longer than I would like to admit. It is my imperfections that cause pause and misdirection, but I look forward to when fear will no longer be a factor, and it won’t just “be happily ever” after but “oh my gosh I couldn’t have even begun to imagine anything this good” when Paradise breaks through brokenness.
One day, if He wants to bring a third strand into this journey, I would be more than delighted, and that would be such a good gift. But the wonderful thing, that I pray you will know too, is that I am already more than delighted. Because I have found the love of my life. He is the most wonderful musician, artist, heart-affirming, reassuring, self-sacrificial, kind, trustworthy, peaceful, honest, refuge, constant, perfect Love I could ever imagine. And none of these words I wrote or anything I will be able to sing for ten-thousand years to come will ever express the fullness of it, but I will do everything I can to sing as loud and as long as I can to try to express back to Him this perfect love He has expressed to me.
You are worth waiting for and you are worth pursuing, and I hope with every ounce of hope in me, that you will walk into the arms of this Jesus – whether you are single or otherwise – for His love is so much more than you could ever imagine.
There is no place I would rather be than sitting hear listening to Him sing over me.
Just listen, look outside, you won’t just hear His song for you, you will see it too.